Couch

Ok. So. My sister, Lorraine knew this day was coming. And I'm not even going to verbalize it, like out loud. I'm just going to write it down and hope that she doesn't bring it up. I hate my couch. Ben's eyes are avoiding mine. He's trying his hardest not to scream, "I TOLD YOU SO!!"

We've had several couches over the years. The first, a white couch from the 'damaged room' of a strip mall furniture store in a po-dunk Georgia air force town, cost us about $200. If. Then we added to our living room furniture by paying a small sum for a friend's brown velour-ish puffy couch. You know the kind: the head cushions are attached at the top edge of the couch so that when you're moving the couch they hang upside down like they'd rather be anyplace but on this crappy couch. When we made the move to Denver we rid ourselves of the brown couch, but hung on to the white(-ish) one. My folks came for our first Colorado Thanksgiving and my mom agreed to help me reupholster the couch. I was really into different fabrics combining on one piece of furniture, shabby chic. So we did a mint green for the body of the couch and fruit fabric for the cushions. Then there was a really cool 50's couch that I paid $15 for at an estate sale. Out went the re-do and in came the old, yet original. Ben detests garage sale, consignment store, goodwill anything so we decided to do the next purchase right.

Out went the old, yet original and in came our first brand new, undamaged couch , love seat and chair. We went to Krause's sofa factory where you could design your own stuff. Pick a style and then pick any fabric you desire. Well, much to Ben's dismay, I chose a gray/brown/green color for the couch, a sunshine yellow for the love seat and a plaid to tie it all together for the chair. And I use the phrase "tie it all together" in the loose sense. We hung on to that furniture for quite a long time. And before we moved to Asheville we sold it for nothing at a garage sale. The gray/brown/green (our family couldn't agree on what that color was exactly) was stained and the yellow love seat had red kool-aid on it.

We moved to the furniture capitol of the U.S. And I had about $800 to spend on a couch. That's not a lot when you're trying to pick a good, solid couch. We went everywhere and everything just seemed boring, too traditional. I should have gone with it. My sister, Lorraine, tried to help me learn from her mistakes. They got a great deal on their living room furniture but the legs have fallen off and the fabric is too nitch-y. She told me not to settle. "You want a sofa that will stand the test of time." Instead I went to Sofa Express and picked a white background with black/gray ticking stripes. That was two years ago. The other day I was trying to get my vacuum extension under the couch and realized that part of the frame has broken and it's sagging an inch or two from the floor. My parents avoid sitting on the couch because once they're IN there, they need assistance to extricate themselves. The fabric is dingy and I would give anything for a boring, traditional couch in a neutral forgettable color. Can I get an AMEN?