Moo-lah

We are absolutely terrible with money. It started out with the devil coming to each of us in the form of student credit cards during our college years. We sold our souls. Then we did bigger and stupider things with credit. We bought tvs and music and food on credit. We leased a minivan. We bought houses. We bought name-brand clothing for our children, who were growing 3 sizes a year. We took trips to Disneyland. We paid bills on credit. Then we lost everything. We learned a lesson...but only one. We learned that we never wanted to be in debt the way we were back then. But we are still terrible with money.

Ben gets a bonus twice a year. Those bonuses could be used to make an extra mortgage payment or to pay off our used car. But instead we act like we're millionaires and we treat people to dinner and take our kids to the movies and buy big birthday and Christmas gifts, like i-pods and pool tables. We don't keep track of how much money from the bonus we spend, we just have a "ball park". Never trust yourself when you're working with "ball park" figures.

I left for an overnight last weekend. I had a ball park figure in my head and it wasn't much. But, hey...I'm on a trip. So I pay for gas and I treat my parents to meals and I order like three triple grande lattes from Sbux in a 24 hour period. And I get home, check the bank account and see that we have $1.99 in there after everything clears. That sucks. I actually went to the middle-schoolers in my household and collected on old IOUs. I mailed in medical reimbursement claims. I went to the consignment shop and received the $8.87 they owed me.

Now, we just bought a house, so I'm thinking..."We need to adjust. The house payment is more than what we were paying in rent. It's an investment and it works on paper and it's wise." But, right now...I hate it. The real question is...am I going to be a totally grumpy wife and mother until the next paycheck or am I going to bounce?? Am I going to let these temporary circumstances completely ruin my outlook or am I going to go with it? Is the glass going to be half-full or not?

My children are healthy. We have a car that runs and we can get where we need to go. I have the cutest dog in the whole wide world. My husband totally digs me and me, him. School is starting and I'll have money-making opportunities as soon as the flu hits the teaching staff. We are just plain spoiled rotten and we have all the makings for s'mores. What am I crying for??