Jesus

I have been wondering a lot about what my kids think and feel about Jesus. Because Ben and I grew up in missionary homes and we were "churched to death" I think we over corrected our own upbringings by putting very little emphasis on church and devotions and Christian music and Bible stories. I think we've cheated our children out of Bible knowledge and hymns and teachable moments. I think we've let them off too easy, not expecting them to be interested in spiritual things or not expecting them to care. I've got some guilt.

Recently I was watching some teen girls doing their devotions in a public place. I asked them about it and they told me that they had been to an incredible camp where the worship time was amazing...they sang and prayed and cried and were inspired. They looked almost angelic, in their bikinis with their Bibles lying open and their highlighters out. I had two absolutely evil responses...both of which I covered with a smile and an encouraging nod. First I thought to myself..."I did that a million times as a kid, rededicated my life and had a whole month-long stint of quiet times. It won't last." The second evil response was, "Why can't my teenager be more like that?" I am ashamed that I reacted that way. So self-righteous. So insecure. So superior. So scared. And they were 13 year olds. What is my problem???

I have thought a ton about that in the last month or so. God has really very gently brought me to a place of understanding. First, I have cheated my kids out of some perfectly golden moments when the gospel could have been shared in a very real way. And for that I'm sorry. Also, each time a kid has a "mountaintop experience" God reveals himself to him or her in a way that they can understand. How in the world can I judge that experience? Sure they'll come down. It's just like my own life, sometimes I'm feelin' it and sometimes I'm not. The difference is that the older I get, the less I rely on feelings to determine the truth that I live out of. And all of that cynicism is tied to my guilt about not "doing" enough to encourage my kids spiritually.

The other really big thing happened a couple of nights ago. Emma had a really hard start to this school year and she's been grieving her expectations not being met by administration and especially by friends. She's being left out and left behind. One of her friends has taken a really strong stand against rock music and gossip (these are a few of our favorite things...). Emma respects that, but doesn't like the way that her friend is communicating this stand. The stand is all being done in Jesus' name. She's had a mountaintop experience, but the problem is that she is showing little to no concern or compassion for the situation that Emma finds herself in (lonely and sad). Emma looks at me and says these awesome, insightful words, *"I thought God was all about love." What her friend is doing doesn't feel like love, it feels like legalism and judgment. It's a pat on the back and the dreaded words, "Just pray about it." So she's not feeling the love and she is feeling the condemnation. She just needs a note with hearts all over it that says little things like, "BFF" and "I Miss U", folded into a teensy tiny triangle and passed between classes. In spite of my own failures as a mom, it seems that Emma has gotten the message that Jesus loves her and He cares deeply for her. And hopefully she knows and experiences this truth: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

WOO-HOO!


*Emma's Notes:
"If my friends are truly concerned about being the 'good Christian' and WWJD then why don't they communicate love when I need it? Jesus would love a friend in a lonely time. It's not about being a "good Christian" it's about being a good friend, who is encouraging and loves God." That's more like what I said, I am really against the whole be a "good Christian" or "what's the Christian thing to do" as my friend would say. And it's not just rock music, it's basically any non-Christian music.