My house is a mess, 90% of the time. All five of us are slobs. We don't pick up after ourselves. The only thing you can be sure of is that the kitchen will be clean when I go to bed at night. There is nothing I hate worse than waking up to a dirty kitchen. But besides that all bets are off. Right now, on our bedroom/Ben's office (we share a room) floor there is an incredible assortment of stuff...a screwdriver, socks of all sizes and colors, Cooking Light magazines, a Woodworking magazine, computer games, file folders, disposable cameras (dating back to 2000), a mag light, a motherboard, a Sprint cell phone bill, extension cords and computer cords, a box of pull&seal envelopes, 2 green rubberbands, my bathing suit, a babydoll bed that Anna Grace doesn't want anymore, Winston's favorite toy, 2 cardboard moving boxes, a gigantic magnifying glass, Ben's leather laptop bag, a couple Harry Potter dvds, you get the idea. And as I trip over things to reach the bathroom I just have to laugh.
I give Emma such a hard time for not keeping up with her room, but look at this. It's unbelievable. I stopped by a friend's house and she was embarrassed. "My house is such a mess." And she cleans houses for a living. But of course her own is neglected (I totally get that). She made some comment about how my house is so neat all the time and Emma and I looked at each other like, "Wow, have we got her snowed!" The only time she comes over is for a monthly book club meeting and of course I can get the downstairs clean once a month. I said something to that effect and she asked me to leave it for the next book club. Just leave it the way it always is...and I agreed to do that. WHAT WAS I THINKING???
If you read ahead to my last blog entry you'll see that I was born a performer and I don't really like for people to see my dust bunnies. I act like I'm comfortable with total honesty, like my life's an open book. And to some extent that's true. I don't mind being transparent with people, but there's something about this particular truth that I'm uncomfortable with. Why is that? I can write about being a slob, but I really don't want you to see the evidence. I can write about being bad with money or aimless or insecure as a parent or as blind as a pharisee and I can even allow you to see the evidence of all of those things, but when it comes to a dirty bathroom I am completely freaked out.
Insight anyone?
2 comments:
i can sooo relate. i talk about the importance of vulnerability all the time.. but some friends say i'm not vulnerable with them. i think it's because i like the vulnerability (and the dust bunnies) to be shown on my own terms, when i want to, after i've figured it out, when i initiate it, etc. which isn't really that vulnerable, is it? so maybe you, like me, have control issues... welcome to the club!
and i keep LOL thinking of the image of AnnaG dangling by her sleeper at the candy cabinet.
I think I agree 100%. When I get called on something it can be pretty painful. So it must be only on my own terms that transparency is ok with me. And then book club messiness isn't really messiness b/c I had decided ahead of time to expose that. It doesn't count. Well, crap! Thanks for nothing, Rachel!!! No, really, that was great insight and much appreciated! Love it.
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