Alarm

So on school mornings I'm up at 5:50am, getting the kids up and retrieving the coffee for Ben and myself. I wake Emma at 5:55 and she says, "5 more minutes?" and I say, "ok". Then I wake Caleb and say, "I'm turning on the big light" and he pulls the covers over his eyes and I hit him with the overhead lights. Then I peek in on Anna Grace and she's usually awake from the other wake-up calls and she covers her eyes and I turn on her bedside lamp and make sure she knows what she's wearing to school. Then I double-back to wake Emma again and head downstairs for the coffee that is brewed on a timer and check the school cafeteria calendar to see if I have to fix Anna a lunch. And by 6:50 everyone is rushing out the door and Ben is driving them to the bus stop.

But not this morning.

I awoke to light...daylight. Oh crap (or something LIKE that). I rush in to wake Emma at 7:18a. The bus is long gone and on days when it's my fault they're late I can't feel good about making Ben drive them, so there I was...rushing around, making sure they're hurrying along. I head out to the car at 7:40 and just picture this: I'm in my thick black/white socks that warmed my feet all night long. Then I have on lightweight jammie pants and one of Ben's t-shirts. Over that I'm wearing my down puffy jacket. I have on some really funky glasses because there was no time to pop my contacts in and my hair is HIlarious. Half-way to school I make a comment like, "What if a teacher makes me get out and sign you guys in or something. Wouldn't you die?" And when they looked at me with these horrified eyes, I kinda' started to panic. Like oh my gosh...I would die. And then I told them that we'd totally play it off, that I was the live-in maid or something and I'd say something like, "No speak english."

But seriously, I hate that feeling of sleeping late and like there is no getting those minutes back. We're late and there's nothing I can do about it. When Anna Grace got out of the car she gave me the look of death because she was going to have to stop in the office for a tardy slip and carry it to her very intense, loud-talking teacher from up north. She was not happy with me. Not to mention the fact that our local djs were discussing this "no spanking" law that Massachusettes is considering and when I asked if she thought that we ever spanked her too hard she said, "YES. The spoon and the belt? They hurt." Now, it's been a really long time since she got a spanking, but not long enough, obviously. I guess it's not like childbirth (when you forget the pain) because she's hanging on to this hostility for dear life.

So the kids are late and it's my fault. I am dressed like a homeless person so when they're embarrassed it's my fault. And I beat my kids...which is obviously my fault. Man, this parenting gig is not always very gratifying. But there is something so cool about watching them get out of the car, walk towards the school with their backpacks hanging heavy and turn around to wave like maybe they really do like me after all.